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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777080">She will be loved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneStoryOneWorld/pseuds/OneStoryOneWorld'>OneStoryOneWorld</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt, Jealousy, Peter Needs a Hug, insecure, lara jean - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:36:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneStoryOneWorld/pseuds/OneStoryOneWorld</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lara Jean was so good. It made sense, that she was loved. She and Josh have a good talk, Peter gets a glimpse into Lara Jean's head.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She will be loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sup, freaks! *dodges a sharp carrot*</p>
<p>K! Sorry, I meant loving human beings that are in love with this ship. As am I, but for some weird reason we also love angst. So, enjoy my song-fic. Sorry! It's a phase, I swear. This is also a song fic, but it isn't as strict as the others... anyway plot is mine, mildy inspired by "She will be loved " by Maroon 5. These amazing characters don't belong to me *sobs*. Anyway enjoy!</p>
<p>-luv this fandom, xxx-xxx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"He really likes you! I can tell, girl, trust me he's got it bad" Sarah swears, her physics partner.</p>
<p>She simply nods and smiles sweetly; she waves goodbye then goes outside and heads toward Margot's car. She still couldn't consider it her own. </p>
<p>On her way she makes eye contact with Gen, Genevieve ignores her completely and turns her attention back to Peter. Lara Jeans heart aches slightly and irrationally, she ignores his gaze, even though it was burning a hole in her back. Not that she noticed, she was too preoccupied by the burning in her eyes.</p>
<p>Her blurry eyesight caused her to fall, straight into Josh's arms.</p>
<p>"Lara Jean?" Josh sounded baffled, and why shouldn't he? She had been avoiding him practically. That wasn't cool. "Are you ok? Look at me Lara, oh god, are you crying?</p>
<p>"No" she denies even with tears in her eyes and looks up at Josh just to see her neighbor glaring in Peter's direction.</p>
<p>"Lara Jean!" Peter called, running after her in a sweaty jersey, a boy that she was supposedly dating. She couldn't face him right now, not when she's like this, so she tugged Josh's arm and like he could read her mind because he could, (<em>they were best friends for a really long time</em>). He leads her to his car and starts driving, Lara Jean shrinks into his seat, she'll have to leave Margot's car there. </p>
<p>Why was she always running away? Why can't she woman up an speak for Pete's sake!</p>
<p>Lara Jean, to wrapped up in her misery, didn't look back, but if she did, she would have seen a hurt and confused Peter. Whom at the moment was being burned alive by jealousy.</p>
<p>Turns out Josh was taking her to the diner.</p>
<p>To <em>their</em> booth.</p>
<p>"What's the matter?" He wrings his hands, his eyes were the familiar brown she associated with summer and fun and <em>Josh</em>. And she missed him, a lot.  </p>
<p>Something in her chest loosens and someone must've misplaced her jaw because suddenly words were spilling out. Thoughts and things she didn't know she felt until this very moment. </p>
<p>"I- Genevive is beautiful. Very beautiful. She has whatever she has ever wanted always, but not really. She has some troubles, troubles in where she needs help. And" her voice caught "she only wants Peter's help. Always him. And Peter, no matter what. No matter what I do or what we plan he always goes back to her. He is always there to help her- even though she has a <em>boyfriend</em>." </p>
<p>The bell dings in the distance, they both ignore. Not feeling the caramel-eyed stare .</p>
<p>"He belongs to someone else, too." Josh interjects giving her a pointed look.</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Why would she break up with him, anyway? Like, if she only wants him and can't go to her boyfriend- why break up with him? And even though she treated him like trash he goes back to her. He could drive across the entire freaking continent and, and, somehow end up at her door. She already had him, she already <em>used</em> him- so why is she still doing this? What more can she possibly take?"</p>
<p>Josh's heart breaks to hear her so broken, so hurt and confused.</p>
<p><em>"</em>And I don't think he even cares, like- like having a slither of her love, no matter how toxic is all he wants" her voice cracks and she starts crying, he quickly orders her a water. Thanking god, that the booth was out of plain sight. He was so caught up in making her feel better that he completely ignores the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.</p>
<p>He scoots his chair closer to hers, offering her his shoulder, she takes his chest. Clinging to his hoodie, her slight frame shaking with the strength of her emotion.</p>
<p>"If you don't want to..."</p>
<p>"No." Lara Jean insists a fire in her broken eyes. "I need this, please."</p>
<p>"You don't need to ask."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Joshy."</p>
<p>"He doesn't mind suffering for her- I don't even think he is. I could give him my everything and it still wouldn't come close to her acknowledging him. That's how it feels." </p>
<p>"Did he say that?" Josh asks anger welling up in his body.</p>
<p>"It's obvious." She wipes her face with the napkins, dabbing at her eyes "And he isn't a bad boyfriend. It just- I don't want to have the body if I don't have the heart. And it's stupid because we're just <em>dating</em>" Not even for real "but it still-"</p>
<p>Josh didn't respond, choosing silence, but then his eyes caught sight of another man, looking right at them. Josh scribbled in a piece of paper, patting her head as she speaks to him, looking at his lap. </p>
<p>"It still?</p>
<p><em>"</em>It still hurts, it hurts so dang much. And I don't know <em>why</em>. I always read books in where the guy made the girl feel like he thinks she's beautiful and I never felt not beautiful until Peter showed up and preferred Genevieve. I want to feel like someone thinks i'm beautiful too."</p>
<p>There was a sharp intake of breath somewhere, they ignored it.</p>
<p>"I think you're beautiful" Josh hugs her.</p>
<p>She pulls back from his embrace, smiling, "I know. And I love you for that."  </p>
<p>Josh reaches for her hoping to make her feel beautiful as well, she shakes her head straightening up. Laughing she says "I know I get insecure sometimes and it's not always like this. First time, actually."</p>
<p>Peter hearing this wanted to go over there and tell her how much she mattered. But he didn't, scared of her reaction.</p>
<p>"I thought you guys were happy" Josh admits.</p>
<p>Lara Jean laughs a humorless laugh "Believe me Joshy, it's not always rainbows and butterflies.<em>"</em> She took a deep breath and so did Peter. <em>"It's, its compromise that moves us along."</em></p>
<p>"And despite all this drama, I still like him. How pathetic. The thing is, it's not his fault. I agreed to date him knowing that Gen still had a hold on him, technically I made the first few moves-<em>"</em></p>
<p>"He's a flake half the time and then you're always welcoming him" Josh shakes his head angrily, looking like an angry puppy.</p>
<p>"Half is a bit harsh."</p>
<p>Josh was starting to get fed up "STOP DEFENDING HIM LARA JEAN!"</p>
<p>Immediately, Lara Jean looks around, not out of embarrassment but to see if they bothered anyone. Josh looks around too, and sees no one paying attention to them, besides a perplexed waitress, who has been deciding whether or not, she should take their order. As soon as the waitress makes eye contact with Josh she starts heading over. But he shakes his head, and with a huff she turned on her heel to attend another table.</p>
<p>"We should have ordered, we're probably stressing her out." Lara Jena says, concern clear in her set of brows.</p>
<p>Josh seizes this chance "See, Lara Jean you are so good. Any guy would be lucky to deserve you. In fact, most don't deserve you. Peter the least, maybe."</p>
<p>"Josh!" she scolded, then sighed</p>
<p>"No! Lara," He hesitates, then grabs her hand, gently. "Him ditching you for another girl, his ex, is worse than being a flake. Especially since you know the break up isn't mutual."</p>
<p>Her expression looks completely heartbroken, she retracts her hands, so he plows on</p>
<p>"Lara Jean, I don't think Peter feels that way. How can he? You are you so <em>loveable</em>. I love you. Your family loves you- I am willing to be that the cafeteria lady loves you too." This time he doesn't hesitate to take her hand. <em>"</em>And people will always be falling in love with you because of that. Even if you don't... even if you forget them- they <em>will</em> remember you" he says this lightly but his eyes were sad she could tell.</p>
<p>So, temporarily forgetting her own hurt, she asks.</p>
<p>"What is it?"</p>
<p>"We haven't talked in forever" he said quietly.</p>
<p>"Were talking right now, Joshy."</p>
<p>Weak, she scolds herself you deserve this. Let him talk.</p>
<p>"But only because you needed me. Only because you bumped into me."</p>
<p>"Josh"</p>
<p>"Has Kavinsky stopped you from talking to me?"</p>
<p>"I don't get why you guys all call each other by the last name? It's so..." She trails off when she catches hold of Josh's unamused look</p>
<p>"I... I just felt bad for making you deal with the letter by yourself. Then, Peter showed up and I just fell into rhythm with him. And" she looks up at him guiltily "i'm a prideful coward"</p>
<p>Josh licks his lips, a nervous habit. "So, that it? Me and Margot break up and BAM we aren't friends anymore.?"</p>
<p>"Margot and I."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"You said Margot and me..". She trails off seeing his glare.</p>
<p>"Lara Jean, I know life happens and sometimes best friends become strangers- I know that realistically there is no reason that we are guaranteed forever. But I don't want to not try, I want to be your friend. I want you to be part of my life, Lara Jean."</p>
<p>"I want that too."</p>
<p>"What was stopping you?"</p>
<p>"Your right, I'm sorry. Want to hang out tonight? We can do cookies, or, or we."</p>
<p>"Tonight? Isn't Kavinsky's game tonight?"</p>
<p>"He won't mind."</p>
<p>"Lara Jean, are you-"</p>
<p>"Screw him!"</p>
<p>Josh frowns "Are you hanging out with me because you want to or because you want to get back at him."</p>
<p>"Because I want to, for reals."</p>
<p>"Won't he be mad?"</p>
<p>"Is Josh scared!" Lara Jean shrieks with laughter, imitating Kitty quite well.</p>
<p>"Ha ha, very funny," he pauses "but seriously"</p>
<p>"Nah, he ain't the jealous type, and even if he were he wouldn't be jealous."</p>
<p>Josh raises his eyebrow so she explains</p>
<p>"You have to like someone to be jealous."</p>
<p>Josh frowns and for a second hesitates then says "Like you so brilliantly said, Screw him. Let's go chill."</p>
<p>"Let's go watch Netflix!" she giggles</p>
<p>"Netflix and Chill it is!"</p>
<p>"Josh!"</p>
<p>"What? What did I say?" he asks in mock innocence.</p>
<p>"You know what you said!" Lara Jean replies face flushed.</p>
<p>"No, what I said was let's relax and watch Netflix. Your head twisted it into sex. Honestly, who knew you were so dirty!"</p>
<p>"Shut up!" She screeched sounding very much like Kitty.</p>
<p>"Whatever. I'm going to pay for your water, meet me at the car, kay?"</p>
<p>"Kay!"</p>
<p>She starts to walk away, when he calls out to her again.</p>
<p>"I totally said 'me and margot'."</p>
<p>She stops "You did not! Did you?"</p>
<p>"Just think about it."</p>
<p>She nods, pushing herself on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He watches her leave and turn the corner.</p>
<p>As soon as he is out of sight, he cleans the table and takes the long way to the counter, dropping a note in front of someone. Peter Kavinsky.</p>
<p>Peter was still in his seat, what he heard fresh in his ears. What he saw burning his eyes. Then a text popped up.</p>
<p>
  <strong>"Can't make your game. 🙁 Sorry Peter. Something came up."</strong>
</p>
<p>His eyes were burning even more. He texted back Lara Jean</p>
<p>
  <strong>"I wish you could have made it."</strong>
</p>
<p>He would have called, but he was afraid his voice might give him away.</p>
<p>He waited for her to text him back but she didn't, she just signed off.</p>
<p>He texted Genevieve next,</p>
<p>
  <strong>"Gen, we need to limit our interaction, to at school or texting."</strong>
</p>
<p>Click. And with that the text was sent.</p>
<p>Peter stood up and ran to his car, he was already late to warm ups, another half an hour won't hurt.</p>
<p>He climbed into his car, and clenched his fists, his eyes were blurry, so he rubbed them. then he opened the note Sanderson dropped.</p>
<p>It read; <em>She will be loved</em></p>
<p>He knew this, he wanted so bad to be the one to love her, he dry sobbed, silently. The only sound was his occasional intake of breath:</p>
<p>Lara Jean, please don't try so hard to say goodbye. <em>'I like you too. I know you have no reason to believe me but it's real for me now too.' </em>Then he drove off to his game, practicing his smile, broken and all.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>"Hello?"</p>
<p>"Come outside."</p>
<p>Rain traced patterns on his cheeks. </p>
<p>He felt  lot hearing her confession to Josh;</p>
<p>Sadness, jealousy, anger, hurt and...hope. Hope that maybe the feelings he has been feeling will be reciprocated now. Accepted. </p>
<p>The door opens and Lara Jean steps out to the foyer, her phone pressed to her ear. He ends the call.</p>
<p>"Peter? What are you doing? It's raining! Come inside!"</p>
<p>"I like you, Lara Jean."</p>
<p>"Uhm, yes. Peter, I like you too."</p>
<p>He looks up at her, it was 7 and the sun was setting and it was dark with rain. But he never looked more beautiful. And hopeful and sad and scared.</p>
<p>"I <em>like</em> like you. You. Not Gen. You, Lara Jean. And I want you to be my girlfriend for real."</p>
<p>Lightning cracked across the sky, flashing light temporarily on his features. She stepped into the ran and into his arms, "I like like you too."</p>
<p>"We do need to talk, though." Peter murmurs.</p>
<p>Lara Jean couldn't agree more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comment? I love comments. Especially if you are from the UK- man I love the british accent.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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